Mad Mannequins from Hell
“Killer Klowns from Outer Space meets Evil Dead II.”
Days from Christmas in Portland, Oregon: It’s white, it’s wet, and it’s weird. From its Rampaging Santa rumbles to its voodoo and vintage clothing, it is a liberal center for beards, fixed-gear bikes, and microbrews. Now, a dark ritual gone wrong threatens to turn this tranquil wonderland into a living hell when the mad mannequins roam free. And caught in the nightmare are four holy figures bound by longing, loss, and blood…
Burton Vilmos, an unemployed special effects makeup artist, is called upon to right a great wrong before he loses his best friend, his new wife, and his seven-year-old son, Max. Aided only by the Trinity Sisters, three machete wielding battle nuns, Burton may just have a prayer. That is if he can manage to survive an encounter with a midget in a Mexican wrestler’s mask, the haute couture hell hound, kung fu (baby) Christ, and unholy demon spawn of the evil retail underworld–the mannequins.
1: A dark, forgotten land from which all of our fairy tales originated.
2: A Post-apocalyptic realm of twisted, magic wielding royalty locked in battle with a race of technologically superior Guardians (who seek to snuff out magic forever).
3: The world Thursday Thistle has journeyed to in order to locate Princess Monday, one of seven paranormal princesses each named after a day of the week.
In a world where speaking with “wise men” is more like dealing with tech support and romance can be deadly Thursday will have to contend with: the wicked cannibal queen, a zombie grizzly bear, wee werewolves, robot laser-shooting mermaids, a steampunk tortoise, and a Zen archer monkey.
Additionally, she will meet the Schumacher Hound and find a haunted Halloween cuckoo clock temple and that’s just the beginning in this tale of whimsical wandering in the dreamlike tradition of Alice in Wonderland.
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Absolute Alpha Male (Vol. 1)
Absolute Alpha Male (Vol. 2)
Absolute Alpha Male (Vol. 3)
Blood and Blue Satin
Elegance and ultraviolence meet in a world of excess in this coming of age tale for those who never came of age. Randy, a glowing paper skinned boy, a sneakerhead gremlin, and a thumbsucking seductress all have lame superpowers as do most of their classmates at CIS, a secret school of seduction. This has become the perfect hunting grounds for a sadistic killer, simply known as the Deconstructionist, who has been slaying those closest to Randy. Time is running out, can Randy stop the killer before it’s too late?
Blood and Blue Satin is a supernatural erotic thriller set in an Argento-esque landscape populated with Lynchian nightmares. A Bizarro Giallo that explores the values of savagery: passion, obsession, control, revenge, and madness where La petite mort (the little death) can be just as dangerous as the real thing.
Featuring the man in black pajamas, the Luck Collector, “Sexy Jesus,” a dirty angel detective, spiral staircase cities, a lesbian sheet, the Tennessee seer, a monkey-donkey hybrid, top secret seduction techniques, a stuttering teleporter, The Genie, cherub fishing, and a man who shoots lightening from his penis; this, and much more!
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Vegan Zombie & The Storks
Doesn’t it sometimes make you stop and think how some people, despite having everything, just feel lonely and empty, like nostalgia’s assassinating the past and infecting your memory with a longing for a time that no longer exists. You go through the motions and ask, “Is this it?” Well, N’t Clapton has it all—the nice house, the good job, and the wife and kid—but, he feels a great emptiness and he’s alone amongst strangers.
Then one day you have a bad day and wake up dead, undead actually. How quickly it can all change when you are the world’s first vegan zombie. He has been given a second chance to fill that void and find the happiness he longs for when he stumbles into a feud between roller girls and an Asian girl gang.
Now, in a city of sex, secrets, and strangers he’ll meet mutants, murderers, and messiahs. He’ll meet the Soul Slinger and even a yeti along the way. And at the center of it all remains the question: Who is behind the Storks Foundation and will he decipher what they want before it’s too late? Naturally, when you have it, when it’s right in front of you, you grab the opportunity before it slips away and enjoy this deliciously disturbing tale that’s one part Wes Anderson, one part Takashi Miike, and one part Terry Gilliam vigorously shaken; a soul vomiting cocktail.
Contact me for a FREE preview of Vegan Zombie & The Storks.